Oh dear! Sometimes we just get our timing wrong. This time it’s very wrong. So wrong that it would hands-down win the Eurovision Wrong Contest. Why-o-why-o-why couldn’t we have got to Nicaragua a few months before the rebels decide they want regime change? They’re having a bit of bother there and we find ourselves hanging around in Costa Rica waiting to drive across Nicaragua …

It has to be said, there are worse places in the world than Costa Rica to hang around for a while. We’ve done some really marvellous stuff here since our last blog: jungle hiking to turquoise lagoons; marvelling at bubbling sulphuric mud pools; spotting sloths, snakes, toucans, macaws and even one of the elusive Quetzal birds; kayaking into the night to see bioluminescent life in the ocean; and relaxing in natural volcanic hot-springs. All rather splendid, but we’re constantly distracted by a side-show of upheaval in Nicaragua going on in the background. Here’s our Nica-Diary of how things have been going whilst we wait it out in Costa Rica:

Weds 18th April 2018

El Presidente Daniel Ortega (Dany to his mates) announces cuts in state pensions whilst raising the contributions. It doesn’t go down too well and angry students have their say on the streets. The put-down from Old Dany, who hasn’t been re-elected in over 10 years and has appointed his wife as VP, is predictably harsh. Things escalate and lots more unhappy bunnies come out on the streets.

It’s not widespread mayhem. Yet. But we have the dilemma of whether to enter Nicaragua whilst it’s all going on. We can’t stay in Costa Rica for ever – we have strict time limit for Cuthbert here.

We could just cut the Costa Rica-tour short and make a dash through Nicaragua before things turn big-time-bad. But instead our ‘Plan A’ involves clinging, with a ‘pigs might fly’ level of optimism, to a vague hope that Nicaragua will pull itself together soon. Okay… naïve, we know! But we’re not doing the full ostrich ‘head-in-sand’. We do have a ‘Plan B’.

If, by the time our Costa Rican permit expiry is looming, things have deteriorated to the extent that we can’t enter Nicaragua, we can always backtrack to Panama and ship Cuthbert from Colon around the offending areas (sad, very sad… not to mention expensive). Another option would be to put Cuthbert into official storage with Costa Rican Customs for a few weeks. This effectively stops-the-clock on Cuthbert’s permit time, allows us some time to make a long overdue trip home to see our families (we haven’t been back for over 18 months now) and buys us more time to wait for Nicaragua. So we’re not trapped a Ortega’s whim; we have options.

Late April 2018

Within days of the initial fracas, there are new developments in Nicaragua: El Presidente backs-down on his new pensions law and things seem to improve a bit. Hurrah! Our ‘Plan A’ might just work. We’ll just finish off Costa Rica, have a short trip back to UK, then head over to Nica in a few weeks 😊

Early May 2018

“Dear Mr O. and the Nica-rebels. We’re bored of Costa Rica and ready to come to Nicaragua soon. If you could just be so kind as to tidy up your mess and settle down for a bit of peace over the next few weeks, we’ll pop round for a quick tour of your lovely country. Promise not to overstay our welcome and visa time. Kind regards, Marcus, Julie and Cuthbert”.

But the damned carrier pigeon never delivered the message (or if he did, it was ignored). Sadly, but rather predictably, Old Ortega’s back-down was too little, too late. The angry-genie is out of the bottle and the kids want regime change. The worlds’ press shines a spotlight onto the shenanigans (with the notable exception of the British tabloids obsessed with Meg and Harry’s wedding) and things start to career downhill again. More street protests, with severe kick-back from the police. Depending on who you ask, around 50 to 80 protesters have been shot dead by police.

Tues 15th May 2018

Things have escalated again. The angry peeps have set up road-block barricades all over the country. Long distance buses have stopped many services and it’s increasingly difficult to move around the country. Now that’s a bit of a show-stopper when your sole purpose for visiting the country is to travel around it. Our ‘Plan A’ is starting to fall apart now, but all hope is not lost…

Tomorrow there’s to be a meeting between the rebels and El Presidente. Meanwhile, back at Cuthbert HQ, we’re scrabbling around on the internet, all sources from Facebook to the more credible local and international news outlets, for updates on how things are ‘on the ground’. The accounts are conflicting and confusing. Is Ortega really controlling the police forces and ordering the shootings? Are the rebels really controlling (or crippling?) the country with impenetrable roadblocks? It’s hard to tell.

Nicaragua is small. Only around 350km from border to border. It would take less than a day to make a quick trot through the country. We could take the western route on the main PanAm highway, but this passes through a busy and tiresome border-crossing, plus some of the major ‘problem’ cities. So instead, we choose an eastern route, running through more remote, less populated areas.

Just as we’re about to go, we hear (via Facebook) from an American overlander, Matt, who’s stuck in Nicaragua in the Caribbean coastal town of Bluefields. His only road out has been blocked by the rebels for several days and he can’t leave the country or even the city. He has decided to stock up his car with large quantities of beers, soft drinks and snacks and set-off early in the morning to see if he can barter his way through the road blocks.

We decide to wait another day. We’ll see what happens with the talks between the parties, and what comes of Matt’s attempts to negotiate the barricades.

Weds 16th May 2018

El Presidente meets the rebels as planned, but it seems they’re only ranting at each other. The talks end with a suspension for two days until Friday 18th. We hear from Matt that he is through to the Costa Rica border! He used the eastern rural back route (it was the only option for him) and agrees to meet us in the morning to tell us the full story. So we decide to stay in Costa Rica another day, meet Matt and then formulate an escape plan.

Thurs 17th May 2018

We meet with Matt who tells of chaotic, power-crazy, gun-toting young men at each roadblock. When some reasonable guys said he could pass, other guys with balaclavas and rocket launchers (real??? live-armed??? Matt wasn’t sure but didn’t want to find out) decided otherwise and blocked his way. From Matt’s story (click here) it’s clear that our preferred eastern route is not the way to go. If we go, and it’s a big IF at the moment, we’ll have to use the busy western route.

The meetings are scheduled to re-convene tomorrow in Managua. From all our research (God Bless the inter-web!!) hopes are not high for any agreement. This is a bad thing for us, but obviously not as bad as for the poor sods caught up directly in the middle of all this.

Fri 18th May 2018

Uh-oh! Ortega was meant to meet the students this morning, but he couldn’t be arsed to turn up and sent delegates instead. The rebels take offence. Facebook posts (that reliably balanced and impartial monitor of global events 😊) is predicting that things are going to kick-off in a bigger way. Bugger. Our ‘Plan A’ is falling apart. We admit defeat and decide that in the morning, we’ll head back to San Jose to meet up with some overlander friends. Our ‘Plan B’ will be to store Cuthbert in San Jose and fly back to UK for a break. Maybe that’ll give Ortega time to ‘get his ducks in a row’.

Sat 19th May 2018

We drive from Monteverde to San Jose (that’s 3 hours in the opposite direction from the Nica border) and meet with friends. We roll-out the awning, get the chairs out and settle down in the sunshine for some serious overlander chat with Brits Henry and Sue. But by 15:00 hrs we receive a carrier pigeon… Blimey! A short truce has been agreed!! The roadblocks will be down for tomorrow. At 08:00 hrs on Monday, they will be back and the aggro will kick-off again.

It’s good news… but Arrrgh! We’ve just driven 3 hours in the direction away from the border. It’s frustrating, but we have to make a fast decision. If we drive back to the border now, tomorrow could be our big (maybe our last?) chance to dash through Nicaragua before it all goes horribly bad. We decide to give it a go.

We arrive at the …. Border crossing after dark. This breaks our cardinal rule of never driving at night, but Costa Rica is a safe country and we reckon it’s worth the small risk. The border is quiet, so we plan to do the formalities, park-up for the night a few kilometres into the Nica-side, then set-off at first light (05:00hrs). We’ll be in Honduras by lunchtime.

Leaving Costa Rica is quick and easy, but entering Nicaragua can only be described as a mess. Nothing to do with the current problems, it’s just an utter mess. Even at night with very little traffic and no queues, it’s one of the least organised, least logical border processes we have ever come across. The final stage of the palaver was to buy the vehicle insurance for Nicaragua but frustratingly, the border process had taken so long that the insurance lady had left for the night. “Mañana” they say. Bugger (again). That throws a spanner in the works. We have to stay here directly at the border for the night and can’t leave in the morning until the insurance lady has had her cornflakes.

Sun 20th May 2018 – The drive across Nicaragua

‘Big Drive Day’. By 07:30 hrs we have our insurance and hit the road. Not a bad start, but as we drive across Nicaragua I do a quick inter-web news check…. Oooooh Noooo!! There’ve been more protests in Managua overnight and more shootings by police. Eiisshhh. The rebels are pushing out statements to the press: they’re angry at El Presidente for not honouring the truce. We hesitate briefly, but… oh well… we’re here now. Let’s get on with it before the rebels wake up and block the roads.

A bit later, the rebels put out media statements that they’re not going to be lured into breaching the truce themselves. They had agreed to a truce to allow citizens to move freely around the country for the day and they would keep their end of the bargain. Phew! Thank you, dear freedom fighters 😊

After all that, we had an uneventful drive. Roads were good and we saw no trouble other than a few ring-burn marks on the tarmac where they had obviously recently been burning tyres in the road. By taking the western route along the shore of Lake Nicaragua, we had hoped that as small compensation for the indecent rush, we would at least get a snap of the spectacular volcanos of Ometepe. But no. The volcanic peaks were either hidden by low cloud, or nicked by Ortega in a spiteful retribution for the rebellion. Could be either really. Anyone’s guess.

We reached the Honduras border by lunch time and crossed. Exiting Nicaragua the officials noticed the short time we’d been in the country. “Yes, I don’t blame you” they smiled understandingly. By mid-afternoon we were comfortably (if you can say that in 40C heat with 90% humidity) parked-up for the night by a hotel in Choluteca, enjoying cocktails by a swimming pool. Ahh!! 😊

Mon 21st May 2018

After the mad-dash drive across Nicaragua yesterday, we need some time to chill-out and assess the situation. Yes… we’d made it unscathed through Nicaragua, but we’d done it in such a rush. We have no clue about Honduras. What’s to do? Where to go? We’re not used to moving so fast and we’re unsettled. Just 24 hrs ago we were settled in Costa Rica planning to put Cuthbert in storage and fly back to UK for a short break. Now suddenly we’ve whizzed to Honduras. We’ve decided there’s no need to shelve the UK-trip idea. Why not fly from here instead? A small amount of inter-webbery reveals that we can’t leave Cuthbert in Honduras, however we can leave him in the next country: El Salvador. It’s only a couple of hours to the border – so that’ll be tomorrow’s mission then!

Tues 22nd May 2018

Off we skip for yet another border crossing. In just a few hours we’ve moved on to San Salvador and checked-out the flights to UK. There’s one to LHR via MIA tomorrow. Thank you Sir, that’ll do nicely.

We find a secure car-park for Cuthbert and less than 24 hrs after arriving in El Salvador, we’re flying out! Nothing against Honduras or El Salvador; we’re sure they’re perfectly fine countries and we’re looking forward to checking them out. It’s just that we’ve reached a point where we need a short break from the road. A couple of weeks back in the chilly summer of old Blighty visiting our families will do us good. We’ll come back refreshed and ready to face whatever else Central America has to throw at us. And if we’re really lucky, maybe even Old Ortega will have sorted out Nicaragua so we can go back and visit. Okay… maybe not… but we can dream 😊